Effective communication skills help you get what you want and avoid what you don't want.
Few of us would say that a person on the street talking to a lamp post has good communication skills.
He may have a large vocabulary, a deep voice, or extraordinary diction, but we would not say he was getting through to anyone.
How do we know this? Because the lamp post doesn't respond!
Effective communication skills are language actions that motivate others to act in ways that help you take care of what is important to you.
The best way to make sure that happens is to develop effective listening skills and effective speaking skills.
Develop Effective Communication Skills
To motivate others to respond as you wish to what you have to say, pay special attention to the moment before you speak.
Too often we speak without thinking. We end up insulting someone, coming across as muddled, or making promises we can’t keep. None of these results takes care of what we value.
Get clear on the purpose of your speaking. Ask yourself:
Formulate requests and offers
Knowing how to make effective requests and offers are effective communication skills. Whenever you make a request, you ask someone to promise to do something for you. And whenever you make an offer, you promise to do something for someone else. Make offers and requests that contain answers to the four questions above.
Renegotiate promises that are at risk
Sometimes you are unable to keep your promises. That can put important relationships at risk. To minimize damage to these relationships, renegotiate your agreements.
Your ability to skillfully renegotiate promises that are at risk is an effective communication skill because it maintains the trust required to work effectively with others at home and in the workplace.
Lodge legitimate complaints about broken promises
To keep your commitments, you need others to keep their promises to you. If they don’t, you may not be able to keep yours.
A complaint is warranted only when a promise has been broken. If there was no promise, you can’t complain. You can gripe, whine, or bellyache over disappointments, but you can’t complain about them.
To make a legitimate complaint, do the following:
Acknowledge completed agreements
Whenever you have fulfilled your promise to others, you need to know that they are satisfied with your work.
That’s it. Develop these important communication skills and get the help you need to take care of what you value.
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